Joy May Be Complete.

Love one another.

So that your joy may be complete.

Trish and I were walking along the Atlantic coastline, discussing this verse in relation to community.

And these pictures capture it...

Twenty-three people, one huge beach house, Charleston, a 10k race, breakfast waterside, morning coffee on the porch, night giggles underneath the stars, cds for car rides, flying footballs, burgers on the grill, winding conversations, guitars strumming and friends singing... These are the things that capture my joy complete. These are the things, the people, that made my joy complete this weekend...

John 15:11

I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete...

2 John 1:12

I have much to write to you, but I do not want to use paper and ink. Instead, I hope to visit you and talk with you face to face, so that our joy may be complete...

Brokenness.

Today was a day I just wanted to scream all the brokenness inside me. Full of gnarled feelings and mangled thoughts. Nothing made sense; nothing could.... Just brokenness. Just hurting. Just deep wells of no connection.

Today was my mom's birthday. Its the day that really has become the most important to me, because it was the day of life. Of the last time I really poured my heart out to her. Of love. Of the letter. Today was a day that holds the relationship, the meaning of my mom.

Today was hard. Today was hopeless. Today was broken. Today I am thankful for the few who remembered; the two who were willing to sit.

But today, I am sad. Broken.

Ten Years.

Ten years. Ruth was married, but barren, childless, for ten years (Ruth 1:4). The ache that comes from these words calls forth deep compassion. A wanting desire to join her and hold her hand, hug her in the hard days, and cover her as a friend reads through the lines. To be barren in those days was an unestablished labeling of "not worthy" or "less than." I can see her at her city well; the women all gathered, leaving their side-glances and remarks at her feet. And her wishing and wanting to join in their feminine chatter of children and swollen bellies and living legacies. Their stories, their lives. But feeling left out. Different. Hurting.

Ten years. Ten years she was barren. Ten years she was outside. Ten years she was "alone."

The City Gate.

Boaz stayed with her through the night. Then ushered her out in secrecy in the morning. He filled her with generosity and took care of her physical needs, then went to take care of the other matters, to gather her heart.

And he did it upright. He waited at the city gate, then gathered together the elders of the village as witness' to the agreements and arrangements, going forward with their blessing. In all ways, he was upright, carefully regarding her, and clearly focused on maintaining integrity and character for her, as well as himself and the family line, in the way he so honesty dealt with matters.

"Respected at the city gate..." (Proverbs 31).

She didn't have to hide any longer. She didn't have to wonder any longer. Once her intentions were clear, he man-upped and worked to arrange a life for her.

I want a man who walks this upright. I want someone who I don't feel I have to hide with, or if he's hiding from me. I want a man who would stand before the elders to fight for my honor, as well as ask for the protection of it.

I want a man respected at the city gate.

Wholes & Splices.

I want one man's whole heart;

not splices of anyone.

Widowed and Childless.

Did you realize that Ruth -- a widow, childless Moabites -- was called to be the married, mother of Israel? That God took her brokeness, her bareness, and made her Hope. He renamed her and he reclaimed her. And her life, one that wept tears and felt hurt, found and followed obedience, and became the stem of the Hope of all Israel.

Now that is Redemptions Story.

The Hope of All Glory.

Be Devoted.

"Be devoted to one another in love." Romans 12:10

Be devoted. What does that mean? What does that mean heart-wise? Life wise? What does that mean in the little things? In the big things? What does it meant to be devoted to one another?

Some examples come to my mind -- specifically of Laura, Jenny, and Missy. These three women have taken community and showed me what it means in the flesh. They put love on scripture. The put skin on Words. They put lasagna in my garage, Powerade in my hand, and flowers in my room. They scrawl in sand at Nordhouse, poke at fires in the backyard, and snack on appetizers at Applebees. They show up at Morning Maries, Burlingame Dairy Dip, and my drive way at 6am. They pray, they write in chalk, they send cards. They send picture postcards, Israeli tokens, and rocks in a box. They stare out from Saugatuck, wander Reeds Lake, and relax on the pontoon. In all these things, they display "devoted." Something about these friendships doesn't waver. Maybe time and space does, and schedules fill, but these women are bottom line: devoted.

I wonder what that means for me. For us. Right now, in this time and space. I live in a world right now of transition. Of people lurking for adventures, lured by jobs, and lusting after 'better'. I live in a culture surrounded by people who are plucked to life stages, family changes, and career rearranges. This month alone, I see Amy prepare for Milwaukee, Jenelle pack for Nashville, and Trish fly for Mexico. These are my three closest friends in Charlotte.

I have chosen, I have desired to live a life devoted, committed to those around me. But I heard another friend today talk about possibly moving, and I got quiet and gulped with emotion. Loosing another? The investments are shaking. The time seems wasted. I want to pull my heart back into itself and find others who are staying to root. To digest in.

I purposefully disbanded from my Bible Study so I wasn't spread more thin over more people. But what that found me instead, is digging deeper into the current relationships in my life. This is good. This is the intended outcome. But now, when I hear more factors, more changes, I want out. Of the group and people I claimed deep in my heart. I want out of more extraction. I want out of more risk, more hurt, more pain.

I look over my friendships, and wonder how many others have thought this of me?

And I wonder, in this life of changes, what does it mean, then, to be devoted to one another in brotherly love? What does it mean to love and honor and serve another? It it does just for the purpose of here and now, even if that is constantly ripped and torn? Or is devotion something more?

It's devotion between me and Kelsey. Between me and Kate. Between me and a few others who I make phone calls with and buy plane tickets to and send morning thoughts. Its devotion across the miles, across the life phases, across time and places.

But it's devotion that is also necessary on home turf. In the place where you live; where meals are served and brought, where days are spent and grown, where physical life happens. It's devotion that is needed.

Yet the question still remains: what does that mean today, here in this place, with these people, in this phase, at this season?