Heroines.

Apparently I have a paralleled theme in my favorite movies. Intensely strong women characters whose fierce passion, undoubted courage, and remarkable strength is the plot line. She is the backbone of the story and the one who I watch and glean from.

I was thinking of my favorite movies the other day with a friend and started listing them off.... I Dreamed of Africa, Anna and the King, Australia... In my top 5ish films it was interesting to me of this unique commonality. [I must admit, I also treasure Dirty Dancing and some other completely meaningless entertainment... :) ]

It simply struck me because I realize these women call from me the things I long to be, the feelings I see in myself some days. Remark -- don't miss the 'some days' portion there.

However, it is in them that I see their strength coupled with determination that makes a difference in the world. They are not women who choose to stay in their comfort and block out the needs in the world. They are flawed women, who looked past the present to challenge the greater ideals and in return, impact the surroundings and people.

It must help too... that all of them fell in love with great, strong, intensely masculine men. Men who did not portion the personalities of these women, but who walked with them and gave them a safe place while the fight for right continued.... Well... I guess it is the movies, right :)

Alas, it just struck me about these fictional women and where I find myself in their plight and in the plot line of my own life, God writing it for me.

Blind Eye.

I want to turn a blind eye. I read from Relavent magazine stories of the Congo and injustices throughout the glove... I have books of child soldiers on my shelves.... I lurk through webpages of stories, and my continuous flow of mail delivering news which calls me forth...

But I want to turn a blind eye. Because all of it makes me feel, and all of it requires action. And I don't know what to do with it all, or how to even try to begin one of the needs. I want to turn a blind eye, simply because it's 'easier' and I can play ignorant so I am not responsible for what I know and the awful, treacherous, heartbreaking actions that are occurring across the earth.

I want to turn a blind eye, but know that I can not. How does one person "decide" how to make a difference? How does one "choose" which area of injustice to target? How does one pray for the God of us all to step forth?...

Two things I miss.

I miss my roommate. I miss coming home and just having her around once in a while, that person who knew the ins-and-outs of my thought process, my family, and the names I mention. Its not that we needed to be inseperable, but at least it felt like someone walked at least bits of my journey with me. Instead now it seems I am always alone when I think, when I eat, when I comfy-up on the couch. I miss her. I miss just grabbing our blankets and watching dumb TV shows just because we could, together...

I miss my friends on phone calls. I miss the fact that they are married or busy or interested in other things, and that I am too. I miss that I don't have hours to call them, nor they me, but there is still something in my heart that feels this intense void of that constant friendship and our phonecalls past state lines.