Showers & Wedding Bells.

As I look forward to buying a house, there is an anticipation and excitement that comes. There is hope. There is that gleeful feeling of thinking about decorating, painting, finding furniture, filling my kitchen, and designing rooms. None of this is set in stone, but it still leaves me awake early in the morning and restless as night with excitement - and apprehension, because bills do come included :).

But it also comes with a bit of thought that for most people, when they buy a house or get their first place, they are blessed with showers and wedding bells. I am in no way frustrated with this and love that many people recieve that blessing. And, there is not sadness in my fingertips here either. But there is simply the realization. That I acknowledge that no envelops of money will come my way to help pay for a washer and dryer, no crock pot will be wrapped with a bow for my cupboard, no pillows or blankets or bathroom towels will be gifted. It's okay, it's me, and this is the life God has blessed me with. I look forward to strolling World Market to pick out my own supplies. I like meandering Target and thinking what I can put where. I appreciate the shelves of magazines to browse at Barnes and Noble for ideas. It's okay doing it by myself. But it also is something I acknowledge as I look over my budget, my plans, my excitement, my growing list for Bed Bath and Beyond... that I am doing it by myself and it may take months to paint the walls, add the furniture and fill the cupboards. But, it will be my home. My harbor of rest. Filled with my things.