Statistics.

In the last month of more, most of the anger within me has dissipated. By God's grace. Truly, an unbelievable, undeniable work of the Holy Spirit.

But if one more person quotes to me a statistic about love and marriage and remarriage after death, I will hurt them. I will.

How is that going to make me feel better? How is that going to offer compassion to my pain? How does that all-of-a-sudden make things explainable?

My life is not a statistic. My family is not a statistic. My family is a bond of broken humans. My family, my life, my dad, are not statistics.

So do not use statistics on me. Never use statistics on me. Never use statistics to rationalize any of this.

I don't know how many people since April have told me, "Well, research shows that most men remarry within a year, especially if they had a good marriage."

But since the first time in April, until still today in February, and the million times in between, NOT ONE time has this statement been a gift or support in this time of grief.

Because, really, people, how is hearing that supposed to help? How is hearing that, and you saying that, walking with me in and through my pain? My pain can't be marginalized by statistics and numbers and quotes and your where-with-all. So stop it, stop using statistics on me.

Besides, lets be honest here, and cut right to the core... did Jesus ever use statistics to heal the hurting?

NO!

Instead, when he saw the crowds, "He had compassion on them" (Matthew 9:36).

So have compassion on me, on my family. Have compassion, not quotes or statistics.