On Writing...

I am unabashedly obsessed with everything Sara Groves. I am inspired, I am taunted, I am rebuked, I am questioned, I am called forth because of her. She is everything that seems so real and honest and I admire her willingness to put vulnerability so clearly out from her.

In writing, I am often tempted, and I would say rightly so, to hide some parts of me. Some of the real depths of what I think and feel. And at times, write moreso so my reader can feel and gain from my words than for me. This is good as it shields some from the recesses of me. But it also is something I also wrestle with.

The people I love and connect to the most don't hold back. They are real and honest and vulnerable to the core. They allow themselves to be teachers just simply in who they are, not it what they perceive others to gather from them. These are my favorite people to converse with, my favorite writers to read, my favorite artists to listen to.

Sara [because yes, I am on a first-name basis with her. I know we would be best of friends...] has a new album coming out called Fireflies and Songs. I was reading about it this morning on her website and appreciated her honesty as she finally felt she almost needed to 'step back' from observing, and regift her listeners with the truest of her. That is what I gather and gain from her.

Her producer, Charlie Peacock, called her out on it. To quote:

"I want you to enjoy God and the gift of song writing."

I've been stewing over this exact idea for months. Writing and sharing on this blog, and wondering how intimate and personal to be. How many gates and doors to open, and how many need to stay closed. But I also need to be transparent at times to connect and share and be real. Emotional writing is my gifting.

In pairing, I also have been skirting around the starting of a novel for months now. Even thinking as I embarked into this new job that it would allow this endeavor, but instead finding myself avoiding. Feeling like I don't know where to start, how to publish, what kind of story will really come of me. If writing a blog is more my writing for now than a novel, etc....

And just yesterday, I thought, I need to take the pressure off. I need to stop thinking about the final binding. I need to let the context of storyline dissipate and just rest. I just need to enjoy writing and enjoy God in it, no matter the outcome of the story. Or even play around writing stories for a while, just gather again the habit of it, no publisher in sight.

So here I am, mulling Peacocks words to Sara. Listening in to "enjoy God" and "writing." And letting him measure the honesty, vulnerability, plot, characters, influences, words, etc.