Respected At The City Gate.

I've been digging through Ruth. And Proverbs 31. And Friendships. And Life. And this morning, this passage got me all over again. What does it mean for a man to be "respected at the city gate?" (Prov 31:10)

As a single Christian woman, my heart is to love and marry and cherish the man that chooses God above all else, lives a life that calls and demands honor, and carries himself with intention and dignity. He is joyful and encouraging, rejoicing in good things, honoring and acknowledging the hard things...

Sometimes I get so caught up in it all, that I can't really figure out what is worth waiting for and what isn't. And if I should just pick one of the men I know, guy friends, and see where it leads...

But this passage entitles that I pause and wait. Because to be respected at the city gate, means the man has earned his role, his intentionality, his honor. It means in the light of people - guys, work, women - he is respected. It means he treats people with dignity. He protects hearts and calls them forward at the same time. He serves, he cherishes, he nudges. He takes leadership roles when necessary, and encourages the leadership of others when necessary too. He filters his thoughts, heart, and life (media, time, talents, etc) through the lens of Christ. He honors his commitments and works hard and lives in community.

It doesn't mean that he is stagnant, getting by. Sometimes I try to get myself to settle for guys like this. Who, simply... exist. Because it's easier, because their stable. But my heart just can't get me to settle there. My term is usually "adventure" but what it really is, from a godly standpoint, is the lust and longing for a full life. A life that lusts after what God is calling him forward to, and what challenges and changes he is continually making to press on towards that. To earn respect and grasp fullness. To not be stagnant amidst the glory of God.

So it all narrows down to this: if I am to be a Proverbs 31 woman, a wife of noble character, then I should filter men through this one phrase: Is he respected at the city gate? [or aiming to be?]

~~~

SideNote: For all who question my waiting and wishing, and want to repeat for the millionth time, that no one is perfect and I have too high of expectations... I completely disagree. And I know men who prove it -- Ry, Michael, Tom... husbands of dear friends of mine... men who are respected at the city gate.